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    Red flags for dating abuse

    More useful than a list of obvious red flags are guidelines based onof a potentially abusive relationship, signs that are visible before an attachment bond is formed.

    The following is a list of qualities to look for in a potential lover. Note: During the early stages of your relationship, your partner is not likely to do any of these things to you.

    If you believe a friend or relative is being abused, offer your nonjudgmental support and help.

    Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and domestic violence are on the rise, especially among young people.

    “No one is going to be perfect.” On the other hand, she adds, “Don’t go into any relationship thinking you’re going to reform them.” You won’t.Unfortunately, most abusers are able to mask these tendencies in dating.By the time many people notice the obvious red flags, they're already attached to an abuser, which makes it much harder for them to leave the relationship.Very often, when the person I'm working with has moved ahead with the relationship, one of these issues -- which might not have seemed huge at the beginning -- becomes a major problem leading to the demise of the relationship. As you read this list, don't just focus on the other person.Below is a list of some of the red flags I've discovered. Some of these items might not be deal-breakers for you; if the issue is okay with you, then there is no problem. See if you can identify personally with any of these red flags. The person comes on strong at the beginning of the relationship, and tells you exactly what you want to hear. Narcissists can be very intense in their pursuit, and many of them have learned exactly what to say to pull you in, such as, "I've never felt as connected with anyone else as I feel with you," or "You are the most amazing person I've ever met.

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