A guy who is nice will just smile at you as you’re walking home from the subway. Nice Guys seethe when they are rejected, telling you that they deserve things because they’ve always been NICE to you. We have all been around the block enough times to see you bending over backwards to be the kind of person you think a woman wants.We are already anticipating the heat that we might catch if the date doesn’t go well, or if we gently decline your texted advance after the night is over. I tried to be a better man than the other men in her past. I slowly began to see how my “Nice Guy” behavior was not only not getting me what I wanted in my relationship, it was actually doing great damage. Glover had followed me around for 30 years documenting my life story. In spite of everything I did for her, it never seemed enough. She was frequently moody and would lash out at me, seemingly without provocation. I avoided conflict and withheld any information – including my feelings and wants – that I thought might rock the boat or start a fight. When it became apparent that our relationship wasn’t working well for either of us, I decided (actually, she gave me an ultimatum, “Go to counseling or I’m leaving.”) to join a men’s group and get some counseling.Just as you begin to enjoy it, you realize how scary it is that you might have actually found your unicorn — you just had to brave a bunch of a**holes first. Andrea Wesley Andrea is a 31 year old freelance writer living in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada.
I began to learn about things like boundaries, self-care, self-soothing, and honesty. I've read the book several times and even bought the audio book! Glover's dating and relationship podcasts and they continue to change my life.
I was sure the map was accurate, but no matter how hard I tried, it never got me to my desired destination. The guys who either couldn’t get a date or who were deeply entrenched in the friend zone with the women they desired. I want to thank you in advance for the changes that are coming.
These guys helped out and listened to women talk about their problems. I think it's going to be a lot of work but worth it.”“I was a web developer for 10 years and now I’m a manager for other web developers.
He once brought her a thermos of hot soup when she had been in class all day and had to go straight to play rehearsal with no break. Well this guy is my friend and I am not sure I'm on his side. In other words, these are concepts that are pitted against one another when in reality they are not opposites. They are convenient labels that men apply to themselves and the guys who are sleeping with the women they want. To try and dictate what those desires should be is not nice. Take the “Nice Guy” who tells a woman that “just friends” is just fine, when in reality he is simply waiting less-than-patiently for her to open up the gates of pants paradise.
One night he’d had a few beers, and showed up on her doorstep to tell her off. He was sad and spent the rest of the time bitching about how much of a bitch she was. He believes he is justified because “Women should want [nice] guys like him.” But misleading behavior is anything but “nice.” Manipulative?